Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Uncoordinated

Prima and Segundo are uncoordinated.  My Other Half and I are, too, so it's no wonder that our kids are as well.

Prima has no idea she is uncoordinated.  She moves through life quite literally at her own pace and on her own terms, not caring how others are moving.  She is tall and built strong, and though she hasn't yet learned to use them, she is amazing.  Sometimes, though, I feel a little embarrassed by Prima's incoordination.  In her gymnastics class especially, I compare her to other girls and I cringe sometimes when she can't move her body in the same way.  She hasn't learned to use her height and her inherent strength yet, and so she looks awkward to me.

My embarrassment stems from me and my own expectations of Prima, and myself.  I want Prima to be well-liked by her peers.  I want Prima to not be socially awkward like her mother and father were (are).  I want Prima to be confident in herself and her strength.  But mostly, I don't want Prima to be a bumbling girl like her mother was growing up, and still is.

What I am most afraid of, though, is that Prima will learn about my feeling embarrassed about her.  I don't ever want her to think I care more for how she looks than for the kind of person she is.  Because I would rather have my clumsy, happy, kind, giving child over a graceful, coordinated but unkind child any day.

What I want the most for myself and Prima, is to be Prima as she is right now.  She doesn't care about the way she moves.  She doesn't talk bad about her body, she doesn't shame herself, and that little voice telling her she's not good enough is not there.

Prima is content to be just as she is right now, in love with life and unconcerned with anyone else's expectations, except her own.

I love that about her and I hope she never loses that feeling.  And I hope she can teach me how to be that way, too.

1 comment:

  1. She might grow out of it. Or find something where her grace shows through. My oldest is more like me(not athletic), but he found his stride in running and amazes us all.

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