Sunday, October 19, 2014

Littleness

On our walk at the park in the morning last week, a very nice lady asked how old Terzo was. 

“He’s two,” I said.

“Oh! I have a grandson who is three,” she replied.

“I like this age, two and three are good!” I said as we continued on our walk.

I really am enjoying this little two year old!  He’s cute and clever and has a great time playing with me, his siblings, or on his own.  Sometimes, though, I wish I could start over with Prima and Segundo, and enjoy their little phases more.  I wish I could take this version of myself and be that way when Prima and Segundo were little.

I was so uptight about Prima doing what she was supposed to at each stage and I let so many outside people influence me.  I worried so much about all of the little nonsense stuff and couldn’t block out the opinions of other people.  Add in wanting to expand our family and I feel like I missed out on a lot of the good parts of her littleness.

The same is true for Segundo, although I was much more relaxed him on most things.  But I feel that I missed out on some of his littleness because there were two of them always needing something, and we wanted to have one more.

Prima is literally slipping through my fingers and I can’t slow Segundo down, either.  I’m holding on to Terzo’s littleness with an iron grip because I know too well how soon it will be gone.  I’m trying to enjoy his stubbornness and need to do everything himself, instead of getting so frustrated like I did (and still do) with Prima.  We aren’t so crazy about the little things because we’ve learned that they won’t last. 

So I do like Terzo at this age, and I think I did like it when Prima and Segundo were two.



Monday, October 6, 2014

Reaching a Milestone

A couple weeks ago, I posted about Segundo learning to read on my Facebook page, how proud I was and how I totally cried.  Some milestones are a bigger deal than others; they give you the sense that your kid somehow "made it".

Segundo is my motor-skill child.  Running, climbing, jumping, building, all those things come easily to him.  But when Segundo started remembering stories we read and asking questions about them days later, I wanted to hug him!  When he started reading a couple weeks ago, truly sounding out the letters and putting them together, I walked over to My Other Half and just cried.  Segundo had "made it”.

It’s not that I thought he was never going to read, I knew that he would get it eventually.  It’s just that I worry about when “eventually” will be.  This weekend, I was listening to other parents of kindergarteners and someone was talking about their child being stuck on certain letters.  And I said that they will get it, eventually it will stick and you’ll move on.  

But I thought about what I said later that night.  That waiting part, the eventually part, is hard, especially when their peers seem to get it and your kid is, not struggling, but just not there yet. 

In moments like that, I have to step back and take in the whole of my child, all the milestone moments that led up to this one in particular.  He has his own strengths and his own ideas.  He will reach all the milestones in his life, on his own terms and in his own time.  

Segundo, Prima, Terzo, they are going to make it, in their own good time.