Most days I silently count the hours until My Other Half calls on his way home letting me how close he is to being home. I think about how much easier making dinner and helping with homework would be if he was home. I think about how much more patience I would have getting the kids ready for their after school activities if he was home. Sometimes, I resent being left alone to deal with what feels like EVERYTHING.
I basically Wait To Be Rescued. Everyday.
The first time I realized that I do that was a couple weeks ago, when My Other Half was out of town for the night for work. I was standing at the stove, getting ready to make dinner for me, the kids, and my parents. I was exhausted and that tiredness had given me a pounding headache. While I was lucky to have the help of my parents that afternoon, it dawned on me that there would be no one to Rescue Me that evening.
Those were my exact thoughts: No One Is Coming To Rescue Me.
I took a deep breath and did something that I very rarely do, I took care of myself. I grabbed my water bottle, took something for my headache, and started the water for tea. If I was going to make it through My Other Half's absence, I was going to have to start with myself and work my way out to my kids. And I was going to have to stop thinking that I needed to be rescued.
Because I don't need rescuing. I am good enough on my own to handle whatever needs to be taken care of. I just needed the chance to prove it to myself. I also needed to realize that by taking care of myself, I was taking better care of my family. Just by recognizing what I needed to be well, and then doing it, I took better care of everyone. I wasn't yelling or feeling annoyed about everything because I wasn't feeling well. We actually had a pleasant dinner, I was able to get Segundo ready for gymnastics on time, and bedtime went as well as it could go without My Other Half.
Here's the thing: We are good enough and we can do this. We don't need to be rescued. We need to think about what we can do for ourselves to make us better able to handle the day.
What do you need everyday to feel good about yourself? A cup of tea or coffee, an hour in the morning without kids, a run, something else? Do that and hopefully the rest will fall into place. Take care of yourself and then you can take care of the world! You just rescued yourself.